An article in the 8/31 New Yorker titled “Useless Beauty,” starts off saying the first resident of what would become New York City was a “black Latino named Jan Rodrigues” of Dominican descent. He had been on a Dutch ship that left him behind in 1613 with “80 hatchets to trade with the local Indians.”

My two favorite parts of the article are:

1. it goes on to call him a “maverick Dominican arms dealer;”

2. it includes reference to Edward Hyde, Lord Cornbury, New Yorks’s openly cross-dressing governor from the early 1700s.

With men like this shaping it’s history, no wonder New York is the way it is!

Eight years later and the Twin Towers are still gone. Rebuilding the site of the World Trade Center has lagged — only the steel support for one of four planned towers has been built — but each year to mark the anniversary of that fateful 9/11 twin beams of lights are aimed into the heavens above the former site in remembrance of the 2,604 souls who lost their lives. R.I.P.

A 15-year-old Brooklyn boy is walking with a serious limp today after shooting himself in his cock! Khamir Grant was walking around his East Flatbush neighborhood at 1:30 a.m. recently when the unregistered gun is his waistband slipped.

When the big tyke reached for the piece he accidentally pulled the trigger, and the bullet that came out hit him right in his penis. He was taken by his mommy to Kings County Hospital for treatment and released — and then busted by the cops for reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon.

What was wrong with Padma Lakshmi that she couldn’t host Top Chef Masters?

Instead we’re given the multiple local Emmy-nominated Kelly Choi.

Padma was on an episode of Star Trek Enterprise, which could fall into the good or bad column depending on where you stand. But imho she was awesome.

Kelly is an also ran tv hostess who plagues the airwaves of NYCtv with such dreck as Eat Out NY, where she eats out in New York. As opposed to, you know, ‘eating out’ New York.

Padma is full of verve and sexy and host Top Chef.

Kelly posed for some kind of cookbook with a skinned baby goat, dressed as a baton twirler, in the middle of Times Square. WTF? Kelly, you are so so so so weird. We think she’s odd, but  CHARLIE TU EATS hates her!

We knew it couldn’t be far behind.

Sexy Quilts and Amish Erotica

Forgive me lord, for I have sinned… all over this quilt!

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“His warm, gentle lips moved over hers, and she returned the favor, until Hannah thought they might both take flight right then and there. Finally desperate for air, they parted.”

“When the Heart Cries” is about an Amish chick falling for a Mennonite. Literally, they’re from two different cults or something, she’s the shy good girl, president of the basketweaving club. He’s the bad boy from the wrong side of tracks or cornfield or whatever. And get this he has a car. Just no hubcaps, cause that’s too flashy.

The Amish are crazy for this shit! Even though they don’t believe in the printing press or cars or evolution, these steamy Amish romances are tearing up the religious fiction charts. (Not shitting, they make up 15% of that segment)

viaThey’re No Bodice Rippers, But Amish Romances Are Hot – WSJ.com.

TOP 5 AMISH BESTSELLERS

1. THE BIBLE

2. THE BIBLE

3. PLAID IS FROM THE DEVIL BY OLAF YODER

4. WHEN THE HEART CRIES BY CINDY SHERMAN

5. ZEN AND THE ART OF BUGGY MAINTENANCE BY OLAF YODER

Our friends over at YouLoveJack.com sent us this mini-gallery of Ashton Hardy to ogle.

Well, we loved him. We want to marry him and toss his salad. Wait till you read this:
Ashton’s a down on his luck club promoter with a gigantic uncut cock that he can’t wait to pry out of his pants and show off for the camera. After releasing that monster of a cock he hops on his knees and slides two fingers deep in his ass before dumping a piping hot load of jizz all over his bright blue t-shirt. Of course he slurps up that mess – this is YouLoveJack!

Some excellent amateur gay pornorgraphy? Why, look no further…
DirtyBoyVideo’s Latest Shoot:

We head over to Brandon’s place because he’s got a hot bottom for a hot end of summer fuck. The sweat pours off them as Raf deep throats Brandon’s dick all the way to the hilt: Raf completely getting violated by the monster meat. They lick and rim each other andBrandon shoves all 9 inches of his fat cock up Raf’s slippery tight boyhole, in an act of near-assrape!

Over on TheSword.com me and Cory Koons are featured in a lunchtime poll! Make sure you go and vote for Plushie/Cory!

I really want to win this thing! Or Cory? Seriously, who’s more fuckable than Cory!

But hell, it’s honor just to be nominated!

Also, this fucking kills me. We’re obviously the humorous choice that every internet poll MUST include but what’s with Adam Killian & Mitchell and a giant pink flocked panther. Should be disqualified as a menage a trois?! Much sillier than fucking a guy in a bear suit.

The sooner you die, the better! From the fine people who brought you The Credit Default Swap and The Recession, comes Life Insurance Securitization. Sound exciting? It is! This new scheme makes it not only cheaper to let you die of a dread disease like our current healthcare systems, it makes not finding a cure much more profitable.

Basically if you have a deadly disease, like AIDS, etc, your life insurance policy can be bundled together and traded on the secondary market, with the benefits going not to heirs of the deceased but rather to hedge funds and traders. TAX FREE.

I know this sounds boring as shit, but read this tidbit from metafilter and The New York Times. We could be seriously fucked.

Who’s Running the Death Panels Now?