Ever have a burning desire to shoot up some heroin but you just didn’t know how to do it? Don’t worry — NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg will teach you how!

Our city’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene is distributing a 16-page illustrated pamphlet with 10 important tips for intravenous heroin users, including ideas how to prevent overdoses, where to get clean needles and how to make sure your veins don’t get all fucked up from shooting up too much. While the guide — which was printed in a run of 70,000 copies at a cost to taxpayers of about $32,000 — is causing a swell of controversy, Bloomberg sees no problem with it. “Using hard drugs is just not a smart thing to do,” says the mayor. “But we have an obligation no matter what the people do in this city to make sure they do it as safe as they can.”

NYC Councilman Peter Vallone, however, thinks it’s just a bad idea: “What’s next, a kids’ guide for playing safely in traffic?”