When I read the first listing on the Phoenix New Times’ list of The Top 5 Most Tasteless Cookbooks Ever Published, I chuckled to myself and went on with my life. But the next time I, umm, got my hands on got on my hands the main ingredient during a solo harvest, I found myself looking for a way to properly store and save it for use later. The catalog listing for Natural Harvest — A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes says it best: “Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic.” It’s a truly seminal tome on the complete culinary experience of cum!

If that doesn’t make you hungry, maybe check out The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls. Not human balls, but it teaches how to prepare various animal danglies into delightful omelets, pizza, barbecue and more. Bon appétit!