William Wegman Can Lick My Nards.
We admit it. While we love animals, we hate pets. I mean what’s the fucking point of inventing things like houses? Keeping out weather, invaders and animals! What’s the first thing people do when they buy a damn house or apartment? Fill it with plants and animals!
That being said, some of you out there are especially doting on your four legged friends, and that’s just fine. You’re saving them from Michael Vick or the sausage factory.
But we draw the line at you freaks who dress them up and stuff. Some people, namely the New Yorker, that once fine publication, are taking the opposing viewpoint and wish to reward you monsters!
The editors’ meeting went a little something like this:
Editor: How can we combine our storied publication’s esteem of animals as evidenced by our countless cat cartoons and Thurber drawings, with our longstanding tradition of fostering and appreciating modern and classic literature?”
Editor’s Minion: A Pet Dress Up Contest!
Editor: I like it.
Ghost of Dorothy Parker: Noooooooooooooo!
So you sickos out there who love to play dress up with Fluffy or Spot could win a signed book [and we wish, forced sterilization!]. Here’s the details and the blah blah. Deadline is Oct 25th.
Is your pet a member of the Critterati? Submit a photo of your dog, cat, or other (nonhuman) animal dressed as a literary character for a chance to be featured in a slide show [a slide show! Woohoo, everyone loves those!] and win a signed copy of “InDognito: [srsly!] a Book of Canines in Costume”—which includes this Labrador dressed as Julius Caesar. [C’mon! Not Fido-pus Rex!? Sigh, I love shitty puns]
