Underwater Satanists attack Jesus!
Yes. That is what they are saying in the Italian Riviera. They have an statue 75′ under water called “Christ of the Abyss” and it appears that someone has removed it’s arms. Naturally, the local police and fishermen have applied the most cutting edge CSI tools and concluded, “it could be an attack by Satanists who knew the statue was there.”
Of course! A crack team of scuba trained and certified Satanists hell bent on sending a message by defacing monuments few people can get to or see!
They go on to explain, “Because of the depth it is very unlikely that the statue was damaged by a propeller.” Of course, the fact that back in 2004 an anchor DID break the hand off the statue (since replaced) hasn’t occurred to anyone on the case. Nope. It was Satanists.
Our theory: It’s unlikely that Satanists would be trained scuba divers as well. I mean, for one thing, they are all a too fat to fit in a wet suit. Plus, their eyeliner would run, and their bags of chips would get all soggy. We believe the Satanists used Demonically trained Satanic Dolphins to carry out their dirty work!
And why is there a Jesus statue 75 feet under water anyway? Does it offer the same protection to fisherman as the plastic Jesus on the dashboard of my car?
Such mysteries.
When Satanists Attack
