Spotted this the other day. Insurance for your animal companions in the event of the Rapture. The service is run by moral/ethical atheists who, for a fee of $110, will go get your pet if you get raptured in the next ten years and place them with an adoptive moral/ethical atheist family.

According to the contract if the rapture does not occur within ten years, then they’re off the hook.  And if the Rapture does occur and you’re stuck here, well that’s your own damned fault, sinnerface. Check it out, they have a CafePress store!

The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind?   Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

From the FAQ

Q: When the Rapture occurs, how long before my pet is rescued?
A: The timing is contingent on the number of subscribers we have in each state/region and travel distance. Our rescuers know that this is a time sensitive service. Pets’ lives are at stake. We will limit the number of subscribers in each zone so that any given rescuer will not be over burdened. Naturally, we must anticipate that there will be widespread chaos and confusion immediately following the Rapture that could impact travel times. Thus, we are targeting a maximum of between 18- 24 hours from realization of the Rapture, to animal rescue.

The traffic on the GW is hell during every cataclysmic biblical event. I’d feel better if I knew these people were vegetarians, you know, in case food got scarce.

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA.