Gayletter, a weekly events listing purports to be able to “sniff out the strongest Martini in the tri-state area.” I purport that they are mother fuckers. They don’t know their cock from their tail. There’s no ‘strongest martini’ or lychee martini(or vodka martini for that matter, but that’s the subject for a longer debate than we have space for here). A martini is by definition booze+booze. So it’s not strongest, as much as largest that matters.

All that being said, the GAYLETTER is a great little listing of the week. Like that old gay rag HX without the hooker ads, and much better writing plus the irreverence of the internet.

Click on it for the full NSFW-ness, if you like boobies.

Spotted in the East Village.

Europeans have a fascination with the way Americans eat while on the hoof.While Ms. Manners has made it clear that only fruit and ice cream (cones) are the only acceptable foods that may be consumed as you walk, one could add pickles to the list, with these handy Pickle Bags. Condoms for your cukes!

From Bake it Pretty via Dinosaurs and Robots.

Imagine if actual condoms had little characters painted on them. I sense a merchandising opportunity!

Ewww. Guy says there was a used condom in his soup. Tied off in the middle – meaning used. He owes $300,000 to the IRS, which is just a coincidence.

For some reason, the restaurant is called Claim Jumper. Claim, not Clam.

My favorite part is, even after the guy has tested clean for Hep and HIV, his wife says, “I won’t go near him”! True love, huh? Stupid straight people.

Condom-in-soup case plaintiffs: Were living in hell| hodousek, lawsuit, restaurant, condom, jumper – News – OCRegister.com.

I’ve seen my share of shitty fake I.D. cards over the last decade bartending around town, which I’ve always found kinda surprising. One would assume the proliferation of online phony identification dealers and readily available high-quality laser printers would arm underage imposters with some decent fakes. Apparently the good old days of razor blades and lamination machines really aren’t that far behind! Check out these absurd fakes:

Someone needs to tell Jose that his slutty girlfriend needs her own I.D.:

A redheaded girl with an Indian woman’s I.D.? Good luck there:

Actually, maybe this one is acceptable in West Virginia:

White woman, black dude. Work’s every time — on blind bouncers:

Something tells me this guy wasn’t just trying to drink a few Bud Lights before his 21st birthday:

The infamous “McLovin” I.D. from that movie Superbad! It’s super rad:

Found on Gaytube – Winnie The Spew & Friends.

This is wrong in so many ways, I just don’t know where to begin. Made us cry a little bit. What makes it great is the bizzzzare soundtrack and kooky narration-poetry by none other than Tom Waits.

“He has no friends but he gets a lot of mail. I betcha he spent a little time in jail…” Tom gravels, while Yosemite Sam bangs Porky Pig in the ass. Twisted ass mashup.

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Hey I love crack cocaine and men in plush animal costumes as much as the next guy, but all I can say about this is WTF??! Some randomly bizarre group in Brooklyn called Club Animals (the people plush animals recently (in)famous for offering “Free Bouncy Rides” on the L train) have started something called the “Crack Candy Delivery Service” which will feature people plush animals showing up to deliver, well, crack candy. “We are personally delivering a 100% sugar crack rock (multi-colored and multi-flavored with snow cone syrup) to your Brooklyn house on demand,” reads a post on the group’s website. “Expect a 7-foot tall man in a plush, blue mascot head, white gloves and a tuxedo to come knocking soon after you call or text for delivery.” One dollar gets you a few rocks of candy in a 1″ x 1″ crack bag. I wonder if these dudes know my buddy
Plushie Schwartz.

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I have two things to say about this 1) we all instinctively knew this;  and  2) Hooray!

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Yup.  Someone stuck the business ends of TWO hammers up his ass.  And, of course, had to go to the hospital to get them out.  And, naturally, the reason he did it was to work out his constipation.  Yup.

There is a picture, too.   Wonder if there is a video of it on xtube?

Hammer as “cure” for constipation? – Boing Boing .

Is that Darth Vader?  NSFW link!

via Facebook | George M. Mcdermott.