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Long time commenter Arch Noble’s blog is filled to the brim with  musings, humorous tirades and horny images, not to mention the startlingly realistic yet fantastic images. Like this one:

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Zach Sire’s challenge of Photoshopping Zac Efron “straddling a giant cock.” Why don’t we have any friends again?We felt pretty ambitious about the lighting, shading and overall integration of the genitals into the shot before we realized that we were probably taking this challenge too literally.

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It calls to mind the writings of Lorca, who combined reporting with science fiction, mystici

See it’s a penis! Cuz people think he’s secretly gayyyy.

Thanks Arch Noble!

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New York Is the Big Cock?

I think our friends at Gothamist put it best: “Though it came out in 2000 for a CAE Gallery show, this NYC subway map interpretation is spreading its seed all over the internet today, giving the tip of Manhattan a whole new meaning.” Do these memes suddenly get rediscovered time and time again each half generation, like the Marlon Brando dick smoking thing, old wives tales, and urban legends?

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Who knew Brooklyn and Queens were just a massive nut sack? And is it really that cold in here?

Check it out the larger version of the big applesack; It’s quite detailed.

Very NSFW: Dollfucker Jay


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Lights! Camera! Drag Queen!

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Mike Diamond reporting live in front of a city bus.  His reportage is filled to the brim with such tender and notable one liners…
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Beards of the World Unite!

It ain’t taking place in NYC but I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t mention the 2009 World Beard and Moustache Championships, which are going down this month in Anchorage, Alaska. The quirky little competition is held semi-annually as a way to decide once and for all (well, for a few years) who has biggest and most bad-ass beards and mustaches in the world. “The championships feature competition in a variety of categories that include everything from the delicate Dali moustache to the outrageous full beard freestyle,” reads a press release. At the last competition, held in 2007 in England, the upstarts of Beard Team USA gave the always competitive Germans a serious challenge, winning first place in five categories. I wonder if the infamous “Hipster Grifter” will be there.

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Ultimate Transport Championships

It wasn’t even close this year when a cyclist, a subway rider and a cab rider recently competed in the Transportation Alternatives organization’s 8th Annual NYC Commuter Race. Every year the cyclist wins the trek, but this year in particular the cab passenger got simply destroyed, finishing the journey — which goes from Sunnyside, Queens to Columbus Circle — in more than 45 minutes. The biker even beat the subway commuter with enough time to relax with a cup of coffee while waiting for the others to finish. “I take a cab thinking it’ll get me there the fastest,” said the yellow cab cruiser. “I can’t believe I lost by 27 minutes today.”

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Yuppies Only Brunch Restaurant to Host First Ironic Meat Menu

Well, there are wine experts and Tequila sommeliers. Some schmancy joints have a buttload of water choices on their menus but Permanent Brunch we believe, is the first restaurant to “bring a special new gift to the world: the first “bacon menu” in town.” says UrbanDaddy.com. Yes, five different bacons from different pigs and baconmakers will grace the tables of this ‘comfort food only’ East Village spot on a rotating basis.

There was time when only faggots ate brunch! Now it’s a whole cuisine?!

It’s genius really, all it takes is a weak bloody mary to turn Breakfast Served All Day into Permanent Brunch. Why pay $6 for eggs when you can pay $40?

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A Wolf in Vulture's Feathers

Bisexual British troubadour Patrick Wolf goes all West Coast trashy leather S&M on the video for “Vulture,” the first single from his forthcoming The Bachelor album. The clip shows the androgynously fey Patrick “getting involved in some dodgy satanic sex games and exploring the many dark sides of Los Angeles” as inspired by his 2007 Magic Position tour stop in the City of Angels. It’s not quite dirty enough by our standards to live up to the “X-rated,” “controversial” and “pornographic” tags it comes with, but he’s got a cute butt and still worth a watch here:

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Plushie Ripoff!

What in the HELL? We’re offended on so many levels.

Not only is this a blatant rip off of Plushie Schwartz, it’s a cynical attempt to curry favor within the furry community. Even if we don’t live the fur lifestyle, we honor and embrace it. But mostly, they stole our fucking idea. This internets ain’t big enough for another ironic fursuit sex video!

What about the queen in the heart glasses who intros the video? I always thought Divine out of make up was a boner killer. Well, I might be wrong but I do know that if you mock ChiChi LaRue, she will cut a bitch.

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