We all know how popular the fleshlight is, but now comes the ‘autoblow’ promising a realistic blow job sensation.  The site offers some sensational sales copy:

“The Autoblow can help prevent the spread of disease and unwanted pregnancy.” Right.  Because you are alone.  No cholesterol, either.

“If you go to a prostitute, a blowjob can run you between $50-$150,” so, the logic goes, paying $99 for this thing is truly a bargain!

And the testimonial:

“it does take a lot of the labor out of jerking off” Because, really, who hasn’t wished masturbating wasn’t so labor intensive!  All that stroking… so exhausting.

The downside is if you are OVER 6.5 inches in GIRTH.  Then you have to get the Autoblow Max. Doesn’t say if batteries are included.

Gay Male Sex Toy – Autoblow Hands Free Male Masturbation Toy.

My first tip off should have been when they called the area around “Houston and Lafayette Streets, in a hip neighborhood in downtown Manhattan” but Fox news has got its bloomers in a twist over a CK ad in Soho that’s been up since February.

Yeah, it’s less a neighborhood than an outdoor fucking shopping mall. It figures that some tourists were shocked. Let’s cut the shit FOX, you don’t like it cause it shows two guys touching. Which means that it’s cool. If you don’t like a thing, FOX, that makes it better.

“It’s soft pornography is what it is,” said Laurie Baranowski, who said she was in New York for a visit. “I don’t think that just because you put Calvin Klein’s name on it makes it acceptable. It’s a beautiful picture, but I don’t think that that’s the place for it.”

Right, and now I will come to your town and tell you where you can put your Taco Bells you ignorant cow. Your town is not the place for it. Leave my town out of it. But don’t worry, all the seediness that might offend your soccer mom walnut sized brains has been purged and replaced with a Hollister store, JUST LIKE THE ONE IN YOUR FUCKING TOWN.

Calvin Klein ‘Threesome’ Ad Draws Oohs, Aahs and Protests – Local News | News Articles | National News | US News – FOXNews.com.

One of our first apartments was across the street from the Hell’s Angels “block” or clubhouse. It was one of the safest streets in the neighborhood – at a time when safety on the streets of new york wasn’t something you took for granted.  A friend of ours had a Vespa, and basically they wouldn’t let him park it nearby, because they didn’t want anyone thinking it was theirs. They relented slightly when it was explained that they were Italian scooters. Not mopeds or ‘rice grinders’. He still parked it down the street. They were always pretty polite to us.  I mean all that radicalism and racial intolerance has cooled a bit since the clubs heyday in the 70s and 80s. In fact, we now wonder if Curbed has actually met any Angels or ever really witnessed them beat anyone up. I never did.

doesn’t it say more about the changing East Village that the bikers would make this sign instead of just beating the crap out of anyone who sat on that bench? [EV Grieve]

It should say ‘changed east village’. where are they supposed to drink their Mojitos if people are sitting on their damn benches?!

via Curbed: East Village Tourists Pissing Off Hell’s Angels.

Originally posted by EV Grieve, pretty good rant.

Baseball games are boring as fuck but watching a sloshed NY Yankees pitcher squirm under the glare of a police surveillance camera? Priceless! Video footage has surfaced of young Yankees stud pitcher Joba Chamberlain’s offseason arrest on suspicion of DUI. The Nebraska state trooper who pulled the star’s BMW over also found an open bottle of Crown Royal on the passenger seat, and administering field sobriety tests turned into a Big Apple bash fest as Chamberlin openly dissed his adopted home town to the cop. “The biggest thing that I’ve noticed driving here [in Nebraska] and there is if you let somebody in, they open the window and say ‘thank you,'” Joba says in the video. “In New York, they might hit you. Yeah, it’s a joke.” Chamberlin recently pleaded guilty to driving drunk and got 90 days probation. Click here to watch the video of his arrest.

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So this was on Gawker yesterday, making it kinda newsish. But It’s been all over before so what’s the excitement?

According to LA Rag Mag, Alexis Arquette told them where they could buy a photo of Brando sucking the cock of Wally Cox (really?), his long time BF, FB, Whatever. But I think they got ripped off on many counts.

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We did already knew about Marlon’s escapades. Brando suppossedly admitted to taking the picture. This just throws everything into question. Why hide the photo if he copped to it?

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Apparently it’s a photo that’s been sold more than once…It’s of dubious provenance – and certainly could have been faked.

It’s not even fellatio unless your eyes water! Look at this guy… See how his cheeks sink in? THAT’s sucking dick!

Findadeath contends that it was just a still from Missouri Breaks, MB feeding a horse a carrot.

Here’s some more dead maybe gay movie stars : Laurence Olivier, Danny Kaye, Noel Coward (natch).

From the LA Rag Mag Post…
Yes, it’s shocking I know. Take a deep breath and relax, he always said he was a bisexual it’s just the photo that takes you there. But behind the shock is the love story of Marlon and Wally Cox that many people don’t remember. A lifetime companionship, that at times was a love affair, with a classic Hollywood ending.

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Baseball lovers get all hard and gooey over historic firsts at the new home of the New York Mets — the first home run, first player busted for steroids, etc. — but fans witnessed something truly memorable recently when a nearly-naked skinny white guy from Queens became The First Streaker At Citi Field . Streaking traditionalists may argue against the validity of the feat (his ass cheeks were exposed but he was wearing a strategically placed Mr. Met over his balls and bat) but either way, the crowd went wild when the dude raced across the diamond and slid into second base, with security in hot pursuit. He’s now facing up to a year in the slammer. Check out his sloshed buddy’s moving documentary about The Streak here:

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It was all gay fun and games on Monday nights during the “Fondle” party at South Brooklyn Pizza in Carroll Gardens — that is, until the New York Times went and wrote about it. Seems some local cops got word of what was going on inside — namely muscular male dancers stripping to disco music for dollars on the bar — by reading the Times article (apparently the “Gay Party! Live Go-Go Dancers!” sign outside the joint didn’t tip them off) and now the fuzz are launching an investigation to see if the party violates New York cabaret laws (it probably does). So try to get down there while the getting’s still good. As the “Fondle” tagline says: “Come for the pizza, stay for the sauce.”

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As usual, it’s cross dressers that have the craftiness, and the balls nerve, to stand up to injustice and get what they want!

It turns out, if you want to get married in NYC, one of you just needs to wear a dress!

The license isn’t valid, gay marriage is STILL illegal in NYS.   But NY Gov. Paterson has said New York will honor gay marriages from other states where it’s legal.  The absurdity – if they went to Iowa and got married, NY would recognize it, but since they did it IN NY, the state won’t. 

How stupid is that?

Via Gawker

WEDDING CRASHERS – New York Post.

As an old punk rock/queer activist cum pornographer, I’ve always been attracted to anti-establishment imagery of standing up and fighting back.  I was only 12 when Harvey Milk was murdered, but I’ll never forget how excited I was when I first saw footage of a row of burning police cars in San Francisco from the riots after his killer was convicted of manslaughter.   Queers Rising Up!  Gays actually rioting in the streets!    

That has nothing to do with this video out of Iran, I just like how the cops ride there motorcycles into the protesters and end up having to run away, leaving one of their bikes burning in the street! 

Also, at about 2:30 in to the clip, the injured cop the crowd helps out, is SMOKIN’ HOT! 

Huffpost:  Iran Updates VIDEO: Live-Blogging The Uprising.

“for anyone that enjoys hot men, clowns and big dildo’s”

Umm… dildos shouldn’t be possessive.  Ever.

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Father Clown And The Beasthood