The article reads like it was written in 1996: “it seems to mark some kind of cultural tipping point, where pornography has soaked so far into the … mainstream culture.”    As if referencing the existence of porn is itself shocking. Whatever.   The video is pretty funny even though they felt compelled to bleep out the word ‘vibrator’.  

This Porn’s for You: Budweiser’s Racy Internet Ad – TIME.

Between Air Force One’s insanely low flyover of Manhattan, the spread of the Swine Flu across NYC and even FEMA pulling the plug on a 9-11 themed kids coloring book written by a grandmother, there’s certainly no shortage of paranoia rolling around the Big Apple these days. With that in mind, you deserve this moment of kitty zen:

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“People don’t understand the dictionary—it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that.”

Umm… we called it ‘queer’, not the dictionary.  The dictionary calls us ‘homophile.’ When Joe the Plumber calls us queer, it IS a slur.

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“I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual … and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.”

Umm.. Joe, can you describe, in detail, what the ‘queer thing’ actually entails? Queers are still people, and should be allowed to ‘do their thing?’  Just with other people’s children?

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Q & A: Joe the Plumber | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction.

This is probably the only story that’s going to appear both in Variety and on Midtown Lunch and Eater’s blogs. Do you remember a few years when that cabbie in Time Square went apeshit and just started running over pedestrians. This is better. Instead of a cab, it’s a Ferrari. And instead of a pedestrian it hit a Sbarro’s Pizzeria.

I hate Sbarro’s just as much as the next guy… but not this much. … Don’t worry though… the location is still open.

via Stunt Car Crashes Into Times Square Sbarro’s – Midtown Lunch.

In retort, Midtown Lunch, you may not hate it that much, but we do. Sbarro’s, that foodcourt staple, was the  franchise that opened the floodgates allowing the devilworshipping media and retail conglomerates to turn Times Square into the festering disney-fied outdoor mall that is today.

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Smoke ‘em only if you can fucking afford ‘em, New Yorkers. With the average price of a pack of cigarettes in NYC soaring above $10, many nicotine addicts previously forced into the cold by Mayor Bloomie’s bar smoking ban are now being forced to make an even tougher choice. Thanks to recent tax raises on every pack of smokes, the NYC price –- an average of 55 cents per cancer stick — is the highest in the nation and more than twice the national average.

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“They know they can cash in on smokers like me,” says one puffer. “The most frustrating thing is it’s going to cost me around 80 bucks a week now.” More than 20,000 New Yorkers are expected to quit after the price increase.

Call 311 to quit for free nicotine patches or gum

The Progenitor of Dr. Sketchy’s anti-art school and for what it’s worth, a longtime favorite of this blogger, Molly Crabapple, will appear over the weekend at The Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art’s MoCCA Festival at the 69th Regiment Armory at Lexington Avenue and 25th Street in New York City.

If you’re more into R. Crumb than Stan Lee, if Superman leaves you blasé, if you’d rather hehaw at Pekar, then this is alternative to the ComiCon that you’ve been waiting for and you don’t have to schlep over the the fucking Javitz center either!

From their press blah blah…

“The Village Voice calls the MoCCA Festival “”the best small-press nexus (anywhere!)” Now BIGGER than ever! An incredible weekend of comic and cartoon art exhibitors, panels, lectures, sketches, autographs, and more! Thousands come every summer to meet and purchase works from some of the world’s best cartoonists, animators, and graphic novelists.”

Molly  created the poster and some months back designed a poster for the Museum of Sex featuring a Republican Elephant duking a Democrat Donkey in the butt.  If you look closely you can see other barnyard and circus animals doing more nasty stuff than you’ll find in a Tijuana Bible.

Check out her signing schedule, here.  And I should also mention that her

“very first graphic novel Scarlett Takes Manhattan, is out for presale on Amazon. We’ll be having glitterly launch parties and signings in LA, NYC, SF and San Diego Comic Con come July, but please nab a copy now to make us feel popular. “

There won’t be a Triple Crown on the line at the 141st running of the Belmont Stakes this weekend at New York’s Belmont Park, but the jockey of favorite horse Mine That Bird could make some history of his own. Little man Calvin Borel rode 50-1 long shot Bird to a dramatic win at the Kentucky Derby (where the $2 Trifecta bet paid an un-fucking-believable $41,500!), and then hopped aboard the Philly pony Rachel Alexandra for a victory at the Preakness Stakes. If Borel wins Saturday, it will be the first time a jockey snags all three races while riding more than one horse. Check the morning-line odds for the Stakes here and get gambling!

But enough about the betting — what about the booze? Everybody knows the Mint Julep is the official drink of the Kentucky Derby, but what should we be sipping on Stakes Saturday? Break out the Sherry and Seagram’s 7 and pour yourself a Belmont Breeze.

It’s pony season again kids, and this year’s Triple Crown kicked off the first Saturday of May with the 135th running of the $2 million Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs. (The winner, Mine That Bird, was apparently a real upset)

It’s not too late to pour yourself a tall mint julep…

Next around the bend will be Baltimore’s Preakness Stakes, the third Saturday of May at Pimlico Race Course in Maryland, followed by the final jewel of the Triple Crown, the Belmont Stakes in Belmont, N.Y., this year set for June 6. Get read for the Belmont by learning how to mix yourself a Belmont Breeze, the traditional drink of the Belmont Stakes since 1998.

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Of course mad wagering will be going down at your local NYC OTBs, so bet early and bet often.

Yeah, the whole YouTube fake ‘caught while jacking off’ thing is pretty tired – but when you come across the real thing it’s good fun!  This is an otherwise boring JO scene, BUT, at 4:38 you can hear the door latch go, and at 4:44, in the mirror, and you can see the door open – unnoticed by our star – and ‘mom’ watches for 3 seconds before saying, “Oh, Boy.”  

Undaunted, our boy actually strokes faster as he states the obvious, “I’m in here.”

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Come on, you never fantasized about Jaba.   I know I wanted to wear that skimpy outfit Lea had on, but to be Jaba – hot!

It even has a built in fan, just like Plushie!

Jabba the fursuit – Boing Boing .