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Going for Gold Instead of Green

It was the spirit of good-natured sportsmanship in the looming shadow of global economic collapse that brought 40 out-of-work New Yorkers with nothing fucking better to do to the East Village’s Tompkins Square Park on a recent weekday afternoon to compete in the 2009 Unemployment Olympics. “Athletes” competed in four “sports” — “Pin the Blame on the Boss,” the “You’re Fired” sprint, some piñata-bashing (producing Pay Day candy bars) and the fax machine toss (nixed by tight-ass park rangers) “Office Phone Skee-Ball” — with the winners taking home prizes from area businesses and the losers . . . getting satisfaction of a job well done? “It’s not a bad time to be unemployed,” said the Olympics founder, an unemployed computer programmer from the Midwest. “There is no stigma associated with it now.” Unlike, say, the Special Olympics.

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Joe Cocker = original Amy Winehouse

JJ’s post about Joe Crocker reminded me of this fantastic footage of poor Amy where instead of singing the words she just sort of scats (as in Crothers, not poop) her way thru the song.  I know she has her problems, but, the whole thing is  seems kinda on purpose.  I always thought it was amazing.  (well, until that footage of her doing a bump on stage from her hair – link).

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Jezebel – Amy Winehouse Sings Off Key, Slurs Words, Wipes Nose Often During Performance – amy winehouse.

Law and Order: Hipster Intent

Hipster musicians living in a sprawling Williamsburg loft start killing each other off in attempt to get themselves in the lamest coolest Brooklyn bands? Sounds like the NY Post cover story on A Place to Bury Strangers we’ve all been waiting for, but it’s really just the plot of an episode from this season’s Law And Order: Criminal Intent. (Really!) The episode also marks the CI premiere of Jeff Goldblum (he’s taken over for Chris “Mr. Big” Noth), and the eccentric actor mines the ridiculous hipster plotline — and the equally lame side plots of bedbug infestations and minorities bitching about gentrification — for comedic gold. It’s like our generation’s version of the infamous Quincy punk rock episode:

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Joe Cocker Lyrics Translated

joecockercan_t-embed-1Ok, so I don’t normally click on the links for the cookie recipe or what have you that get forwarded by less internots savvy elderly folks in my fams… but my mother’s got a pretty good sense of humor. When she says she nearly wet her pants laughing, it means she probably did wee a little bit. I think you have to be of a certain vintage to appreciate this, or a fan of Fred Savage. But yes mom I did some wonder bread! Liver! Hoggify!

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Finally, after 40 years, someone has opened the vault and
revealed the answer to a question that has clawed at our
brains since the 1969 Woodstock Celebration: What the hell
were the lyrics to Joe Cocker’s version of A Little Help
From My Friends?
He was so wigged-out and loopy on a multitude of drugs, no
one has been able to understand his garbled, mush-mouth
version…

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FINALLY, IT’S CRYSTAL CLEAR!

via viral email (from my mom)

Sorry,  can’t embed (well I’m sure I could if I was clever, but I’m not so mnah)  you’ll have to watch on their page.

YouTube – Spin The Bottle!

 Our favorite man about town Mike Diamond clearly has too much time on this hands.

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YouTube – Spin The Bottle!.

Coney Get's its Freak On!

It will be a rumble on the edge of the urban jungle this summer as the Hollywood-based John Strong’s Shows — “the largest collection of oddities and circus freaks in the country” — sets up shop in Coney Island, just blocks away from Dick Zigun’s Coney Island Circus Sideshow, the area’s reigning freak show since opening its curtain in 1980. Is Coney Island big enough for two sideshows? Only time will tell, but John Strong’s oddities (including Nosy Rosey the two-headed cow and Tiny the 19-inch horse) certainly will be competition for Dick Zigun’s own cast of crazies.

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Watch some John Strong weirdness here:

Mercury Rising = Time for Diving

It’s starting to get fucking hot out there on the streets of NYC! Here’s six sexy places to cool off your hot self:
— The swank Thompson LES Hotel‘s newly-opened third floor rooftop pool bar is only open to hotel guests — AND also is open to diners at the hotel restaurant Shang. Dine and dive!
— The Holiday Inn Midtown sure ain’t the hippest joint in town, but with day passes to the outdoor pool for $35 who the fuck cares?
— The rooftop pool with a retractable glass dome at the Manhattan Plaza Health Club on 43rd offers 1-day passes for $25.
— Yeah, the 50-foot pool at the Sheraton Manhattan at Times Square is technically indoors, but with a little moxie it’s an easy one to sneak in to.
— The “45-foot heated outdoor, glass-surrounded featuring underwater music and colored lighting” on the top of the posh Hotel Gansevoort is open to guests only — and rooms start at around $500 a night.
— If you feel like slumming it with the common people, the NYC Parks Dept. has 54 outdoor pools — from the mini at Tompkins Square Park to the ocean-sized being refurbished at Williamsburg’s McCarren Park Pool. They all reopen for the season on June 27.

Cheney on gay marriage: ‘Freedom for everyone’

“I think, you know, freedom means freedom for everyone,”

Cheney said but,

“on a state-by-state basis. Different states will make different decisions.”

So, umm, what other ‘freedoms’ should be determined by which state you live in?

Asshole.

Cheney on gay marriage: ‘Freedom for everyone’.

The Eye In the Sky

Big Brother is watching . . . Big Brother. That’s the conclusion of an NYTimes article about how video surveillance is more and more being turned back on police officers to bust them over bullshit arrests and fake testimony instead of busting the “bad guys.” It was one such bullshit arrest that led to the dismissal of charges against a cyclist videotaped being knocked to the ground by a cop while riding through Times Square during NYC’s monthly Critical Mass bike rally. The cop, who claimed the rider assaulted him, was eventually indicted on his own charges of assault and filing false paperwork and has since resigned! Peep the awesome video footage that got his busted:

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The Teaches of Peaches

What’s not to love about Peaches, the sleazy gutter-glam electro-punk bitch-ass broad that everybody loves to hate on? You may know her from such albums as Fatherfucker, Impeach My Bush and this year’s I Feel Cream — or maybe the classic “Fuck the Pain Away” strip-club scene in Lost In Translation — but the best way to get a taste is in person. Seeing a Peaches show these days is like seeing Madonna in 1985 on her Like a Virgin tour, only this time around girl really busts out her tuff titties and gets nasty! I caught Peaches (and her new Charlie Le Mindu hairdo) when she rolled into NYC’s Webster Hall last week, watch her rock the A-Team theme from that show here:

And check out her new video “Talk To Me”: