Bacon or beer — which to consume first? It’s a morning dilemma that has been polarizing men nursing hangovers since the beginning of time, but soon it won’t have to. Brewmaster Garrett Oliver of the esteemed Brooklyn Brewery is working tirelessly to put an end to the problem by developing a brown ale infused with the flavor of both authentic bacon fat and a barley wine made from bacon-smoked malt. The results are sure to be impressive, no matter which direction they take. “One of two things will happen,” insists Oliver. “Either this will be the most amazingly disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted in your life. Or I shall rule the earth.” No word yet on when Bacon Beer will be ready for binging on.

Two great tastes… that taste great together.

It’s a material world and I’m a material girl! Actually, I’m more of a material boy, but I don’t think it will matter either way at the eighth annual Madonnathon, a gathering held every August 16 at the B.B. King Blues Club in Times Square. Madonnathon attracts hordes of the Madonna Louise Ciccone faithful, who celebrate the superstar’s birthday (this year she turns 51) by dressing up in her various guises, dancing around like crazed hyenas and singing all her biggest hits. “It gets bigger and better every year . . . featuring LIVE performances by some of New York City’s most talented musicians, collaborating to bring you the very best of Madonna’s huge repertoire,” reads blurb from the official Madonnathon site. Want a better idea of what it all looks like? Click here to check out pictures from last year’s show.

It may seem like a wild fucking acid flashback, but if you were 20 years old when Woodstock went down, you are now officially really fucking old turning 60 this month! Billed as “3 Days of Peace & Music,” the original Woodstock Music & Art Fair quickly evolved from a big fucking outdoor drug party to an entire generation’s cultural zeitgeist when more than half-a-million people flocked to Max Yasgur’s 600-acre dairy farm in the rural town of Bethel, New York (not actually Woodstock) from Aug. 15-18, 1969, snarling highway traffic statewide. Gatecrashers forced organizers to admit Woodstock was a free event, Governor Rockefeller declared it a disaster zone and a radio DJ announced warnings about brown acid from the stage. A total of 32 acts performed — from Joplin and Creedence to Hendrix and the Who — and all the psychedelic drugs, nudity and public sex made for great hippie eye candy when the Oscar-winning documentary Woodstock hit screens the following year.

A free concert to mark Woodstock’s 40th was being organized for this summer and was to feature Woodstock alums like Joe Cocker and Santana, but it was canceled at the last minute due to financial problems. Instead, smoke a joint and go watch Taking Woodstock.

Since the deprecession hit, businesses are doing all they can to bring in new customers. As if a 3$ Tall Boy of Natural Light weren’t enough to draw you in…

Why not a Bloody Mary and a Handjob. Beats Hollandaise on your eggs!

Umm. There is no way to describe this. It’s NSFW because it’s on Xtube, but there isn’t any nudity. It is, however, Not Safe To Watch.

via xtube

In a burst of truly sad news, Cameron Douglas — son of Oscar-winning Hollywood A-lister Michael — was busted late last month by a federal DEA task force at the posh Hotel Gansevoort in NYC’s Meatpacking District with a large quantity of crystal meth. Cameron, who was recently kicked out of his own Los Angeles home after turning it into a drug den, is accused of being a middleman (intent to distribute) in a deal that would’ve moved half-a-pound of product — about $18,000 worth — from LA to NYC. “He had been staying at the hotel for some time in a room rented by his father, and when authorities barged in, they found the place a mess and Cameron Douglas “very strung out,” reports the NY Post. The part-time actor/part-time DJ is now accused of being a full-time drug dealer, helping run a narcotics ring pushing what he nicknamed “pastry” between the two cities. Get well, Cameron!

I guess the water shortage is REALLY a problem when they resort to this.

If a bunch of Canadian indie rockers cover a dreary ballad by a British band that was fronted by a singer who hanged himself in 1980, does it make a noise? That’s the question that gets answered with this stunning version of the Joy Division classic “Love Will Tear Us Apart.” The Canuck indie supergroup Broken Social Scene turn in the half-speed, piano-driven take on “Love” for the upcoming Audrey Niffenegger movie The Time Traveler’s Wife, which stars Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana. Made in tribute to late Joy Division singer Ian Curtis, it’s the perfect soundtrack to a radiantly sunny and sizzling hot summer’s day! Check out the trailer for The Time Traveler’s Wife (in theaters Aug. 14) here:

There are approximately a million shrinks in New York City, but don’t expect any of them to help cure your “gay problem.” That’s the latest opinion of the American Psychological Association, an organization which has just released an incredibly progressive report (what year is it?) that suggests the groundbreaking idea that psychological therapy to turn gays and lesbians straight is pretty useless and potentially harmful. “Enduring change to an individual’s sexual orientation is uncommon,” concludes the study, adding that those who had tried to convert and failed often “described their experiences as a significant cause of emotional and spiritual distress and negative self-image.” This comes nearly 25 years after the AMA removed homosexuality from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1975. So now not only is being gay not a disorder, but there’s no reason to try the cure.

Thousands of fabulous Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda wannabes braved 90-degree NYC heat and hours of standing in line as open casting calls were held for the sequel to Sex and the City, the wildly successful big-screen adaptation of the long-running HBO drama of the same name. Film producers put out the call in search of “models, celebrity types, upscale socialites, gays and lesbians, international types and professional soccer players” — and an estimated 5,000 hopefuls showed up, dressed to the nines and looking for a big break with a small roll that will earn them major bragging rights but little in the way of loot ($93.50 each plus overtime for a 12- to 16-hour day on the set). That certainly won’t pay for a pair of Manolos, but worth the wait nonetheless. Click here for a casting call look book including the faux-hawked gays pictured.